August 14, 2011
Hello, my dearest chum. I am typing this blog for you to read. I know people like reading the things that I type since I'm so interesting and important. Anyway, please enjoy. I know you will because I'm writing this.
Long time, no blog. Why? I got a job. I actually get to work at home! I sell designer refrigerator magnets at discount prices! After I sell a thousand magnets I get $10! Easy. Also, for every 10 people I sign up to sell designer refrigerator magnets at discount prices I get another $10! Once I make $500 I get coupons for Wal-Mart that are equivalent to $500 in savings! Right now I'm up to $40 and I've only been working here for 3 months! Can you believe it? I love working from home. It only cost me $400 plus applicable taxes and monthly fees to sign up for this dream job. You should sign up, too! And tell them A.J. sent you!
I've been playing a lot of PSP RPGs lately. I recently finished Riviera: The Promised Land and really enjoyed it. I started playing Atelier Rorona and Yggdra Union and they seem pretty good. I've also been playing PlayStation Move Heroes which I find quite fun despite the poor reviews. I've been exercising almost every day with The Fight: Lights Out. It's quite the workout. I also finished NIER and thought it was a great action RPG unlike anything I've played before. The wife finished Opoona and I really like the music in that game. I've been playing co-op Portal 2 with her as well.
I decided to finally sign up for PlayStation Plus. I don't know what took me so long, but I can tell already that it's a great deal. Some of the downloadable games that I played a lot over the past few months include Wizardry: Labyrinth of Lost Souls (one of the best games I've ever played), Armageddon Riders (an insanely fun racing game), Trouble Witches Neo! (an awesome 2D shooter), Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes (the best puzzle RPG I've played), Outland (a great but short 2D action/adventure game), Alien Zombie Megadeath (a super fun old-school arcade game), and Crash Commando (one of the funnest online games I've ever seen). I also ordered a part for my NES and repaired it myself. Now it works very well.
For stand-up comedy I really enjoyed Mike Birbiglia's Sleepwalk With Me. I thought it was a great performance and hope he continues to do shows like that. I thought that Gina Yashere's Skinny Bitch was also a great stand-up performance. I found it cheap and wasn't expecting much but found myself laughing my ass off almost the whole show. Tracy Morgan's Black And Blue is a good one but I was surprised how much repeat material there was. There wasn't too much, but he does some material that he's been performing for 5+ years. I also watched season 1 of Eastbound & Down. That show is awesome. The last couple episodes weren't as funny, but when that show's funny, it's REALLY funny. I've been watching some Columbo as well. That show really stands the test of time and makes a lot of modern shows look like garbage. I haven't been listening to much music lately, but I really dig Electric Love by Dirty Vegas. I wrote a review for it, too. I also thought Moby's new album Destroyed was pretty cool. I got Basement Jaxx Vs. Metropole Orkest not knowing what it was. After listening to it for a bit I thought it was very cool how orchestral the Basement Jaxx are; it's a very nice fit.
So, that's what I've been up to for the past 5 months. I probably left out a lot of stuff like how my wife is pregnant and that I won the lottery. But, who cares about that bullpucky?
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March 10, 2011
Well, I'm finally becoming a woman. I feel like I've been a woman trapped inside an alligator trapped inside a banana peel trapped inside another woman trapped inside a wishing well for far too long.
I'm getting the surgery next month thanks to your kind donations. The procedure actually lasts multiple sessions with the surgeon. The first step is that they assemble a rescue team to help me out of the well. Then, they carefully remove the banana peel from the other woman's stomach (who isn't actually me). This next part is tricky. The surgeon has to carefully peel the banana to reveal the creamy alligator within. Then, the next part is really going to test my patience. I have to wait approximately 48 hours for the alligator to shit me out. Once I am officially shat, the doctor will fashion a penis out of a turkey neck. Since I am a woman, I don't need the penis, but the doctor has his hobbies. After I eat the beryllium sandwich and wash the alligator poo off, I can finally start living my life as the beautiful woman I am.
I have been enjoying a lot of stand-up comedy lately. They've been showing reruns of Comedy Central Presents on the television box every day and that is cool. I bought Denis Leary's new DVD Douchebags And Donuts and I think it's his best performance. It also features Whitney Cummings, Lenny Clarke, and Adam Ferrara who are also very funny, but not as funny as Denis. This is one of the best stand-up DVDs; I recommend it... not that anyone should care about my opinions. I also got the long awaited DVD Hilarious by Louis C.K. I was really looking forward to it, but it's not as funny as his earlier performances. You end up agreeing with him more than you laugh. Don't get me wrong, though, it's a great performance. I just wish he tried harder to be funny than trying to make intelligent points. I saw him live at the end of 2009 and even then he was a lot funnier. I wish someone bootlegged that night.
As for video games, I got Majin and the Forsaken Kingdom. I played through the whole game and thought it was one of the best games I've ever played in my life. It's seriously one of the most underrated games ever. I've also been enjoying the Ys series quite a lot. I played through Ys Seven and was impressed at how long of a game that was. It never got boring once, either, and I don't have an attention span. That was a great game. I also played through the Ys III remake Ys: The Oath in Felghana and thought it was also awesome. It's a lot shorter than Seven, but it's still just as fun. I started playing Ys I & II Chronicles, but don't feel like getting in to it quite yet since I just finished Ys I & II on the virtual console a year ago. I hope they release the Turbo CD versions of Ys III and IV on the virtual console and would also love to see Ys IV and V on the PSP. It would be cool if they get the same treatment that Ys I and II got.
Okay, love you. Bye.